#like wow u restricted all her supports for nothing…… whatever

[sieglinde-freud]

theres like this old promotional art for awakening im sure a lot of of you have already seen with the caption “WHO WILL CHROM CHOOSE” and it has all four of his non-robin/villager marriage options and thats like fine whatever but i think they shouldve put cordelia on there. just to be funny. just for a little giggle

found it! can you imagine. like. it would be a little funny……. i think it would be funny

[edrecoveryprobs]

RE: Anons 9-16

In this post:

#9: how to provide lowkey support to a friend at a group meal

#10: when you have to do a meal log

9. Hello! I was wondering if you could give me some advice? I'm going out to eat with a group of friends for prom and one of the girls recently got out of an in-patient treatment program for her eating disorder two months ago. I was wondering if if there was any way I could help and make it less stressful for her? Obviously I don't want to baby her or anything like that, and it'll be just like any other time we've gone out, but I want the night the night to be fun for her, you know?

You’re such a sweetheart!! If she’s mentioned it to you before, you could maybe pull her aside at the beginning of the night. “Hey, how are you doing? Idk if tonight might be stressful for you, so let me know what I can do to help make it easier” Mirror whatever tone she’s putting out -- if she’s acting tough, keep it light. If she looks petrified, have a more gentle, softer tone. You might offer to do some kind of hand signal if she wants to meet outside to calm down.

At the table, keep your menu out slightly longer than she does, and if she’s having trouble deciding, ask the waiter for more time so she doesn’t have to. Menus are really hard for me, because I go back and forth in my head about each item listed. It takes me a lot longer and it can be embarrassing to have to ask. Also, EAT FOOD! Normalize eating a normal amount of food! If anyone at the table is like loudly bragging about whatever diet, or beach season, or how fat/thin anyone is, change the subject.

If her eyes are glazed over like she’s watching a horror movie in her head, nudge her and then show her something goofy -- like putting the wrapper on a straw and blowing at at someone, or mimicking a teacher/whoever using the silverware as a mustache, etc. Or, find a way to naturally direct the conversation to something she’s excited about. “Yeah, I love their new song! Actually Shelley, you saw them when they came to the city, right?” It’s a nice way to be invited back to the party, especially if you’re doing that for everyone who has been rather quiet.

If she gets up to leave, give her a couple minutes to herself. After that, go outside/in the bathroom (if appropriate) and just check in on her. “Hey, just wondering if you’re doing okay? We miss you at the table!”

Try especially to keep her engaged after the meal. Perhaps suggest going for a walk or a drive, somewhere there won’t be an opportunity to purge. She might be quiet or seem moody, but that’s okay. Give her a couple of minutes and then casually invite her back to the party a la my previous suggestions.

I hope that helps! No matter what happens, your heart is in the right place, and just knowing that is sure to help her feel better than she would have otherwise. I hope y’all had a great prom!

10. In a couple weeks I'm seeing a dietician for the first time. I'm still quite early in recovery, and I'm worried about the food journal I need to complete before the first appointment. I'm afraid that essentially having to make a list of everything I'm eating is going to be triggering and my ED will turn it into another excuse for restricting, like "you need to be eating as little as possible so you won't be judged" or something. Do you have any tips for dealing with this? Thanks! :)

I would talk to your dietitian about it. Does the journal need to be exact? A lot of the time accuracy isn’t what they’re going for, they’re more looking to see general things -- what nutrients are you generally getting enough of? Which are you not getting? How is the balance of things? Etc. No sense going through all the stress of it if they don’t really need you to.

If they do need it to be exact, then brace yourself for a triggering 48 hours.

Aggressively remind yourself that she’s not there to be wowed by how sick you are, she’s there to figure out how to help you. And she needs your cooperation to do so.

Like actually. I did this and I had the same “I need to eat as little as possible!” thing, and she straight up just didn’t believe me, and was annoyed because me altering my diet just made it harder for her to figure out what my normal eating habits were like, which made her advice less useful to me.

Make a voice memo when you eat instead of writing it all down. Then you can list them all out later in one go, so you can’t pause and hyperfocus on one day or one meal.

11. How do you deal with trauma in recovery? I'm doing really well ed-wise; not even seeing a dietitian anymore, eating intuitively, etc. However I realized recently I think I have complex ptsd from longstanding emotional ... stuff and I don't know how to recover from that without relapsing (I have strong motivators not to relapse though). I do have a therapist rn but I'm not sure if she's specialized in trauma or not. Thanks!

Ask your therapist! Also keep in mind that you can start working on your trauma issues one bit at a time. Eating disorders are often intertwined with trauma issues so you’re definitely not alone. Remember to continue your support for your ED recovery as you address other issues so that you can improve your overall health.

Personally, I’ve found that the more I talk about trauma stuff, or at least write about it, the better I feel, as long as I balance it with non-trauma stuff. Once you have expressed/explored a thought in a journal entry, for example, then go do something unrelated to care for yourself and any of the feelings that got brought up.

I also have found it immensely helpful to talk to people who have experienced similar situations. A big part of abuse is gaslighting and invalidation, so helping you rebuild your trust in your reality is really important.

Mostly, keep talking to your therapist and remember that you can get through this <3

12. This might sound like a weird question, but do people diagnosed with OSFED do inpatient treatments/residential treatment?

 Absolutely!

13. Is it normal to have facial swelling during recovery? My face looks so puffy and its bringing my self esteem down :(

I think that symptom is called edema, which is normal as your water/salt/electrolyte levels stabilize. But I’m also not a doctor, so you should really check out new symptoms with a doctor!

14. I was just scrolling through the recovery asks and read #11. I just wanted to thank you for your answer to that anon's question. Your words validated not only my years of struggle, but my year of recovery. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 💕

<3 <3 you’re very welcome

15. Is it possible I'm using my ed as a coping mechanism..?

That is very possible! A common thing among many ED’s is that the person suffering is using the ED to cope with other stressors in life. A very high number of people use their ED to cope, and if you find you are, that’s ok! With help, you can treat the ED and the underlying problems.

16. @mod 7, do u feel like u being trans intersects with your ed? I'm nb and I feel like I can't talk to anyone about how my anorexia & gender affect each other 🌻 tysm!! 💖

Honestly, nope! My ED and my gender identity don’t overlap at all, they are two separate things entirely. If yours do, that’s totally fine! It’s very common for people with gender identities outside of cis to use their ED to cope or change physical features of their bodies., However, that is nothing to be ashamed of. I am very lucky that my ED has not clung on to my gender identity, though it has baffled my treatment team a lot! :) Keep in mind that ED’s affect everyone in different ways, and there is no right way to present an ED. (all ways are wrong, disordered eating should not be in anyones life, not only does it suck but it ruins lives and is deadly. No one deserves that).

I hope that you can learn to feel no shame that your ED overlaps with your gender identity, because if that’s how it is, being honest about it and with yourself is a very important step to recovery and coping in healthy ways. I wish you the best of luck, and if you ever want to talk my blog is instadong.tumblr.com